Weight Watcher’s Journey May Require Duct Tape


Etc Guy Sees candyThe adult arm weighs eight pounds, about five percent of one’s body weight.  Thanks to my holiday junk food diet, I’m that much heavier.  I awoke this morning and had an epiphany: I still have the same arms.  The calories must have flowed further south.

I know better, but I’ll binge until muffin tops lap over my belt.  Chips are my greatest temptation, whether they’re made of chocolate or potatoes.   Unlike a carnival mirror, mine doesn’t lie.  Human anatomy fascinates me; every body part has a role.  What puzzles me, are disproportionate body parts.  My right bicep is larger than my left, but my left love handle is bigger than my right.  I’ve worked on that left love handle for months.  My wife, Hun, gave me a pep talk.

Etc guy love handles 1“I accept you even if you’re lopsided.  Here, take out the trash.”

I maintained a trim physique well into my 30’s, but by age 39 I surpassed the recommended body-mass-index or BMI.  Not to be confused with a BMW, the BMI is based on weight and height, not on body fat.  My buddy Steve alerted me about BMI after he joined Weight Watchers®.  He wanted to lose 80 pounds.

“You dork; I bet you’re the only guy there.  Hah!”

Steve flinched.  I felt bad and later apologized to my friend who only wanted to improve his health, and for moral support I went to a meeting with him.  We sauntered inside on a busy Saturday morning and stood in line.  The receptionist handed me a brochure.

Etc Guy fat guy w beer“Nope,” I said.  “This isn’t for me.”

“Well, you can weigh in and see how it goes.”

By now Steve moved ahead, and I listened to a stranger discuss her weight loss goals.  A husband and his wife walked in behind me.  They joked about cinching duct tape around their thighs to reduce chafing.  Before long, I stepped on the scale and numbers flashed past 200 lbs.  I was the same weight as an NFL running back, one who’s paid a lot of dough, except I was just dough.

“Holy cow, what happened?”

Etc Guy WW weighing in“That’s alright,” the receptionist said.  She tapped my wrist.  “That’s why you’re here.”

I joined the group.  I ate more greens and fewer carbs, drank more water and less beer, and took on a physically challenging home project: digging fencepost holes.  Weekly meetings became a ritual and I soon learned how to play the weigh-in game.  One trick was to wear the same clothes I wore when I started, to compare net gains or losses.  Psychologically, every ounce mattered, especially for measuring progress.  About six months into it I substituted my heavy-weight cotton boxers with silk underwear that weighed next to nothing.  Five months later I weighed 40 lbs less, had a fenced yard, and an assortment of silk underwear.

The benefits were awesome.  My metabolism rivaled the Energizer Bunny’s®, and I dropped 50 cholesterol points.  My doctor grinned, “Your heart thanks you.”

Etc Guy weight recordI’ve battled weight maintenance ten years now but the pounds creep up on me like a stalking cat.  I fall off the wagon with chocolate binges and the occasional bowl of bean dip.  Work, kids, and social activities clog my schedule, and it’s hard to make time for exercise.  But one lesson I’ve learned through this journey is that I need to take time for myself.  My mental and physical health depends on it.  Maybe that sounds selfish, but I’d rather be older and fit than selfless and dead.

Etc Guy duct tapeLife’s too short to check out early.  I want to travel with Hun, goof off with the kids, and play sports until I embarrass myself.  I want an active, energetic lifestyle with no holds barred.  When my time is up I want to sprint through the Pearly Gates, rather than float in on a Lazy-Boy®.

I’ll keep eating chocolate though, and will replace fence boards or dig holes to offset any gains.  And as I continue reeling in the years, I’ll probably still wear silk underwear at weigh-ins.  I wonder, though, if there’s a way to use duct tape to even out my love handles.  I just don’t see them going away.  ###

### Please share this article.  Email me at eric@etcguy.com or join the Etc. Guy Facebook page.


34 thoughts on “Weight Watcher’s Journey May Require Duct Tape”
  1. Greetings from Colorado! I’m bored to tears at work so I decided to browse your blog on my iphone during lunch break. I love the information you present here and can’t wait to take a look when I get home. I’m amazed at how fast your blog loaded on my cell phone .. I’m not even using WIFI, just 3G .. Anyhow, wonderful site!

    1. Hey, thanks appreciate it. I’m originally from Colorado…sorry about those Broncos yesterday. They forgot to show up. Eric

  2. Appreciating the hard work you put into your website and in depth information you present. It’s nice to come across a blog that isn’t the same out of date rehashed information. Excellent read! I’ve saved your site and I’m including your RSS feeds to my Google account.

    1. Cool, writing this blog is a labor of love, I’ll keep at it. Feel free to share…I hope it continues to grow. Eric

  3. If you want to read excellent content like I do, just pay a visit to Etc. Guy’s site. Quality content!

  4. Hi there! I know this is kinda off topic however I’d figured I’d ask. Would you be interested in trading links or maybe guest writing a blog post or vice-versa? My website goes over a lot of the same topics as yours and I feel we could greatly benefit from each other. If you are interested feel free to shoot me an e-mail. I look forward to hearing from you! Excellent blog by the way!

  5. I’ve read some good stuff at your site and will bookmark it. Thanks for the excellent posts. You’re informative and fun.

  6. I’m really enjoying the design and layout of your site. It’s very easy on the eyes which makes it pleasant to read. Did you hire out a designer to create your theme? Exceptional work!

    1. Thanks, appreciate your kind words. I hired some IT folks to help with the technical set-up, but am otherwise using a WordPress template. Come on back, I hope to be here! Eric

  7. You are so interesting! I haven’t read anything like this before. It’s great to find somebody with some genuine thoughts on this issue. Really.. thanks for writing this. Your web site is needed on the web, we need more writers with originality!

  8. My partner and I stumbled here from a different website and thought we may as well check things out. I like what I see so I’m just following you. Look forward to visiting your web page again.

    1. Thanks for reading and asking. Feel free to link my site (or this article) to your site if it’s easier. Eric

  9. I’m not sure where you are getting your info, but great topic. I need to spend some time learning more or understanding more. Thanks for magnificent information.

    1. Well……I’m not too embarrassed to admit that I’m a Lifetime Member of Weight Watchers (as long as I DON’T GAIN MY WEIGHT BACK, hah!) I also was a Leader during a past life. All strange but true stuff. Makes a good story. Thanks for commenting. Eric

  10. Good day! Would you mind if I share your blog with my zynga group? There’s a lot of people that I think would really enjoy your content. Please let me know. Cheers

    1. Definitely feel free to share, I aim to grow the Etc. Guy site. You can also join the Etc. Guy facebook page. Thanks for reading. Eric

  11. Simply wish to say this article is astonishing. The clarity in this post is great. Thanks a million and please keep up the gratifying work.

  12. Educational post! Good to see someone that knows what they are talking about, and who can produce entertaining material. Without a doubt, I’ll look forward to your next article.