No Tax Advice from this Guy

My wife’s instructions were to review in-boxes, files and folders.  Every year I pledge to do a better job sorting paper receipts, e-receipts, updating the check book register and learning Quicken.  Still, I’m smothered by bits and bytes and multi-dimensional layers of information.  In hoping to save time and a few bucks, I’m twice as disorganized.

So I searched the web using  the key words “funny tax stuff” to shed some light.  No enlightening advice BUT I did stumble upon comedic angst.  Here you go, a few quotes from notable humor writers:

 P.J. O’Rourke: “The U.S. tax code was written by “A” students. Every April 15, we pay somebody who got an “A” in accounting to keep ourselves from being sent to jail.”

Mark Twain:  “What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin.”

Arthur C. Clarke:  “The best measure of a man’s honesty isn’t his income tax return. It’s the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.”

Will Rogers:  “Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing, and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.”

Dave Barry:  “I bet that if you actually read the entire vastness of the U.S. Tax Code, you’d find at least one sex scene.”

“It’s income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta.”

 From the Swedish Canary (a Los Angeles comedian I met via Twitter): “I’m really having trouble supporting a family and a government on the same salary.”

Children may be deductible but they are still taxing.” 

Alright now, back to work I go.  I’ve only a few days to file an extension…

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