- Cam-buckles and tie straps. These range in length from 12 inches to 24 feet. They’re handy to secure loads for camping or landfill trips. Cam buckles eliminate the need for dads to tie sophisticated knots which just frustrate us. Color coded straps are best. We’d rather spend time strapping things than untangling straps. Find ’em at Northwest River Supplies.
- Any Husqvarna (Husky) product…weed-eaters, lawnmowers, chainsaws…doesn’t matter. Dads like making noise. Noise empowers. Noise means we’re productive. Husky products help dads tame artificial and natural environments. Lawns. Gardens. Forests. My Husky two-wheel-drive mower can pull a water skier. My Husky chainsaw cuts through engine blocks. My Husky weed-eater has more power than a Toyota Prius. Husky products are made in Sweden, a country the size of California, with the top half stuck above the Arctic Circle. If Sweden was closer to the equator we’d be driving Husqvarna cars. Save a ticket to Lapland and buy a Husqvarna from the comforts of home.
- A Porsche. Any size, color, model, doesn’t matter. ‘Nuff said. Order dad’s Porsche on-line.
- A Volkswagen Bus Tent. Great for camping or set up as patio man-caves. Comes with guy ropes. If you don’t know what guy ropes are for that’s okay. Guys will figure it out. Shop SkyMall Magazine for the perfect tent or other weird stuff.
- Stanley Thermos. No matter how destructive your dad is, these steel gauge military grade thermoses are bomb-proof and idiot-proof. Great for storing coffee, soups, or use as a temporary wheel chock. The only drawback—they don’t float. My Stanley Thermos is more than 20 years old (but I cleaned it twice).
- Time with their kid. Really kids, dads don’t need anything but time with you. Forget ties or soap-on-a-rope. Let’s just hang out at a ballgame. But if you want to get us a Porsche that’s entirely fine.
If your dad reads, consider getting a copy of “Let Me Tell You a Story,” written by a married dad with teenage daughters. He’s trapped in a house full of estrogen but lives to tell the story. The book is written in short, choppy English sentences chock-full of one syllable words. Whether your dad is from Japan, Germany, or Georgia, he’ll be entertained. Available at the Etc. Guy store. Be sure to join the Etc. Guy Facebook page too.